Since today I had to work at noon, but then got a call not to come in til 1 b/c I had too many hours for the week (and they are too cheap to pay overtime [I own all of the overtime for the store that I work at...now that takes talent]) I was walking in just as the trolls were leaving so I knew it was going to be a different kind of day. It was your ordinary day and we got a lot of well needed cleaning done. Just when I thought that nothing exciting or funny would happen at work tonight I heard this fun story.
Apparently the urinal in the men's bathroom smelled like dying deer. After I got done using the bleach to clean tabletops in the deli, I called Josh to go pour the rest down the horrible smelling urinal, which was requested by another worker. Josh did so and then didn't say much about it when he came back thru my department. However, when I was taking the trash out with Josh he told me that while freshening the urinal he noticed a beer bottle lid on the top of the urinal. His first thought was that someone had stolen some beer. He looked in the trash can where he discovered an empty beer bottle. He then proceeded to go check the alcohol isle to find the bunch of bottles that had one missing. After searching all the beer, he found nothing missing. Where did the beer bottle come from you may ask?! Why, some drunk couldn't go 3 minutes without his beer so he brought it into the store with him so he could continue to fill his bladder while emptying it. Wow, what a clever man.
*AFL: sorry there is not a troll story for today, but hopefully this will tide you over til I can get a new troll story...if not, I guess I can make one up for you.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Piss me off a little
First, I HATE ROAD CONSTRUCTION!!! It is a pain in the ass. And of course they must be working on my route from home to work and home to school. The intersection is bad enough without being dropped down to one lane. I can't even turn right on red at 6am...HELLO there is no one else on the road. So I have to sit thru the whole sequence of light changes. And that is the good time of day to be leaving. Now if I have to work at 3-4pm, there is a ice cubes chance in hell that it will take me less then an hour to drive what usually takes me 15 minutes. The line of cars is honestly about .5 to .75 mile long...all waiting for the light to turn green long enough for 4...yes 4 cars to turn. Ugh. Then on the way back to my apartment, it narrows down to one lane...and the left turn lane, however you have to wait until about 3 car lengths before the light to get into the turn lane. Once you finally get to the turn lane, you can't see around the large machinery to see if it is safe to turn or not. So you have to hold your breath, close your eyes and put the pedal to the medal hoping you get thru unscaved.
Second, I HATE CELL PHONE BATTERIES. My phone battery now has a mind of its own. Sometimes it likes to stay on all day etc and other days it only lasts about an hour. Sometimes, it lets you talk and others it cuts me off mid-sentence. And to top it all off, the F***ing battery is more than I paid for the damn phone. What is wrong with this world??? Stupid price gouging.
Third, STUPID PEOPLE SOMETIMES MAKE ME LAUGH. Here is what happened to a couple of lucky cops...and this is a true story.
The cop gets an early morning phone call on his work cell phone, it is a number that he doesn't recognize but answers it anyway and this is the convo that follows.
C: Hello?
DA (dumbass): Is Tom there?
C: He is not around right now, what did you need?
DA: I was wondering if I could get some meth.
C: Sure, where would you like to meet?
DA: Over by blah blah blah park.
C: Ok, I will meet you there.
* They drive to the park where they met the lady who was all smiles. She took the fake meth and a few minutes later she was in cuffs. How smart can you be to dial the wrong number then talk to someone you don't know and set up a drug deal with them.
Second, I HATE CELL PHONE BATTERIES. My phone battery now has a mind of its own. Sometimes it likes to stay on all day etc and other days it only lasts about an hour. Sometimes, it lets you talk and others it cuts me off mid-sentence. And to top it all off, the F***ing battery is more than I paid for the damn phone. What is wrong with this world??? Stupid price gouging.
Third, STUPID PEOPLE SOMETIMES MAKE ME LAUGH. Here is what happened to a couple of lucky cops...and this is a true story.
The cop gets an early morning phone call on his work cell phone, it is a number that he doesn't recognize but answers it anyway and this is the convo that follows.
C: Hello?
DA (dumbass): Is Tom there?
C: He is not around right now, what did you need?
DA: I was wondering if I could get some meth.
C: Sure, where would you like to meet?
DA: Over by blah blah blah park.
C: Ok, I will meet you there.
* They drive to the park where they met the lady who was all smiles. She took the fake meth and a few minutes later she was in cuffs. How smart can you be to dial the wrong number then talk to someone you don't know and set up a drug deal with them.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Interesting lincoln
In January, something tipped off the police to start looking in an area just outside out town for the body of a person who had disappeared 12 years ago. About a week after starting the search, they recovered the body wrapped in a black trash bag. They finally solved who the remains belonged to, a 15 year old girl. She wasn't a run away, she just suddenly dissapeared from her house one night. Why would it take them 12 years to find the remains that happened to be just about 20 feet or so off the road. They believe that she was killed shortly after disappearing so she hasn't been living then just suddenly killed. Where has her body been for the last 12 years. And how did it just suddenly show up? The man that they believe is the suspect is currently in jail b/c of another murder that he committed. How would he have covered up the remains for this long then decide to dispose of the remains? That kind of confuses me, so does that mean that someone else is involved. Hopefully we find out soon, I sure as hell don't want the other person (if there is one) to be running around waiting for the next victim.
Then, Wedn. night around 7pm, a man was walking the shore of a local lake looking for fishing lures and...whoops, there's a dead body. He was a black man with no shoes or wallet, blue shirt, green pants, white socks, black moustache, receding hairline, and a gap in his teeth. At the time, they had no idea who he was, how he got there, why he was there, what happened to him, when he got there, anything, they had no idea. Thankfully, his fingerprints helped identify him. Now they have another huge task. Examining 5595 acres of the State park and 1800 acres are water. Sounds like a good time to me. Maybe I will ask if they would like me to help, b/c I would jump at the chance. Ok, so they pry aren't going to let me help since I am not at all qualified but it is wishful thinking.
This is the most excitement in Lincoln for quite a few months so I am planning on staying on top of these stories...YIPPY!!
Then, Wedn. night around 7pm, a man was walking the shore of a local lake looking for fishing lures and...whoops, there's a dead body. He was a black man with no shoes or wallet, blue shirt, green pants, white socks, black moustache, receding hairline, and a gap in his teeth. At the time, they had no idea who he was, how he got there, why he was there, what happened to him, when he got there, anything, they had no idea. Thankfully, his fingerprints helped identify him. Now they have another huge task. Examining 5595 acres of the State park and 1800 acres are water. Sounds like a good time to me. Maybe I will ask if they would like me to help, b/c I would jump at the chance. Ok, so they pry aren't going to let me help since I am not at all qualified but it is wishful thinking.
This is the most excitement in Lincoln for quite a few months so I am planning on staying on top of these stories...YIPPY!!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Death Penalty
So, this week, the part of the state was trying to get rid of the death penalty. As of right now, I believe that there are 9 people on death row in nebraska. Also, nebraska is only one of three states that still has the electric chair as their form of execution. Now, I am sure that even though I wouldn't go into great detail on this subject I may still piss a few people off...too damn bad, you have your thoughts and I have mine, I just choose to voice mine. Anyway, thankfully, the death penalty is still "alive" (excuss the pun) for a while longer, but only by one vote. That one vote margin scares me. These people are on death row for a reason. They murdered someone or many someones in a very gruesome manor. Do I think that they deserve to die?? YES! They know the law, they know what is morally right and what is morally wrong before they commit the crime and they know what they are getting themselves into. Honestly, sometimes I think the form of electric chair doesn't come close to what the criminal should be getting. And don't even get me started with lethal injection. Moving on, these people sit on death row for years and years and years before they are put to death. Some even die of natural causes or because of something that happened in jail before they are put to death. I think this is also bullshit. If they get sentenced the death, please put them to death the next day. Holding them in jail for 10, 20, 30+ years is wasting all taxpayers' money. In Nebraska it cost about $30,00 per prisoner per year to hold them in jail, think about it everyone, is that what you want to be wasting your money on? I sure as hell don't! Now, that this man who killed 2 cab drivers in Omaha in '79 found out that they death penalty is still in effect, he decided to stop appealing and told them that he was ready to be put to death. I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE READY TO BE PUT TO DEATH OR NOT!! The person that you killed didn't get to choose if they wanted to die and neither should you. Grow some balls and face it like a man...and save us all the trouble. Thanks
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Yep, I am from a small town...Trolls
I have noticed a small difference between small town people and "city" people, or at least the city people that I know. Back home, if someone got pulled over or any of the emergency vehicles left the fire hall, you followed them then drove by as many times as needed to figure out what was going on. However, when I ride with my "city" friends and I see someone pulled over with 2 or more po-po's or an accident, I want to drive by again just to find out what is going on. They are not as amused. I am not sure if it is b/c they see stuff like this all the time and there are more interesting things to do or what the deal is, but "city" folk just drive on by like nothing is happening. So, 2 days ago, i was driving home and there is ALWAYS a speed trap on one side or the other of a bridge not far from my house. Cops are there at least 5 out of 7 days a week, no surprise, anyone who drives that road should know this. As I came over the over-pass the runs perpendicular to the "trap road" I noticed flashing lights. Great, another dumbass got pulled over for speeding I thought. Boy was I wrong and since I had to go pick up my pizza anyway, I made a point to pass this scene three times...here is what I observed.
Pass 1. Two cop cars have their spot lights on the car that is pulled over. Three cops are there, with two of them holding the suspect down while the other is cuffing him.
Pass 2. Suspect is using the phone to call someone. His mother maybe, parole officer, girlfriend...hell your guess is as good as mine.
Pass 3. I think that I see another cop car there, but I am wrong. It is actually a tow truck taking the suspects car away and the suspect is being put in the police car. I am not sure what he did but it was a highlight for my day.
Then I had a fun encounter with the trolls and I thought I would report it for AFL.
N: (ugh) What can I get you?
T(1): Is that mac and cheese plain?
N: YES, it is the same as it is everyday and we are never going to change it.
T(1): Ok, I would like about $0.45.
N:(get it for her) There you go. Anything else?
T(2): What is that? Beef and Noodles?
N: Yes.
T(2): (To T(3)) Would you like some?
T(3): Oh, a little bit.
T(2): Can you stir that up a little? The top looks a little dark.
N: It is beef and noodles, it is going to be that dark all the way through, that is how beef and noodles are.
T(2): Ok, well we will take about $0.90 but try not to get a lot of beef in there, just the noodles.
N: I'll do my best.
T(2): Oh No, over here, there are more noodles over here.
N: I am doing what I can but I am not going to sit here and pick out every piece of beef for you...sorry.
T(2): Ok, then.
Finally got what they wanted within reason and gave them their other order of mac and cheese however I was ----- that close to blowing up their car today, they really got on my nerves.
And finally, this is for Kori. Did you know that Hugh whatever that plays House is also in the human version of 101 dalmations? He is one of the bad guys, I didn't know that until I watched that movie again yesterday.
Pass 1. Two cop cars have their spot lights on the car that is pulled over. Three cops are there, with two of them holding the suspect down while the other is cuffing him.
Pass 2. Suspect is using the phone to call someone. His mother maybe, parole officer, girlfriend...hell your guess is as good as mine.
Pass 3. I think that I see another cop car there, but I am wrong. It is actually a tow truck taking the suspects car away and the suspect is being put in the police car. I am not sure what he did but it was a highlight for my day.
Then I had a fun encounter with the trolls and I thought I would report it for AFL.
N: (ugh) What can I get you?
T(1): Is that mac and cheese plain?
N: YES, it is the same as it is everyday and we are never going to change it.
T(1): Ok, I would like about $0.45.
N:(get it for her) There you go. Anything else?
T(2): What is that? Beef and Noodles?
N: Yes.
T(2): (To T(3)) Would you like some?
T(3): Oh, a little bit.
T(2): Can you stir that up a little? The top looks a little dark.
N: It is beef and noodles, it is going to be that dark all the way through, that is how beef and noodles are.
T(2): Ok, well we will take about $0.90 but try not to get a lot of beef in there, just the noodles.
N: I'll do my best.
T(2): Oh No, over here, there are more noodles over here.
N: I am doing what I can but I am not going to sit here and pick out every piece of beef for you...sorry.
T(2): Ok, then.
Finally got what they wanted within reason and gave them their other order of mac and cheese however I was ----- that close to blowing up their car today, they really got on my nerves.
And finally, this is for Kori. Did you know that Hugh whatever that plays House is also in the human version of 101 dalmations? He is one of the bad guys, I didn't know that until I watched that movie again yesterday.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
News flash Cont.
6. Also, I once again had a fight with kitchen stuff. At work I was pulling a bowl of water (not sure the temp but it was in a big microwave thing that heats up to 480 degrees) anyway it was hot enough. Yep, spilled the whole bowl, only got my hand and left a few blisters b/tw my fingers but the bastard still got me. So I guess the kitchen still has it in for me.
NEWS FLASH
So, as some of you have noticed I have been MIA for a while. However, I am happy to say that I didn't die, or get attacked by the TROLLS. I have just been busy busy busy with work and since it has been nice out and spring break, I have been enjoying the weather or just being lazy when I haven't been at work. But no fears, I am back and ready to roll. So this blog is a catch-up blog, just a few things I have noticed since I last blogged.
1. I am moving up in the world, that is right, I got fitted for shirts at work on Monday. This could only mean that I am so important that I no longer have to wash my own work shirts. I get 6 shirts a week that I don't have to pay for, and then at the end of the week I get new ones and they get wash, dried, pressed, all that good stuff for $9 a month. There will be a barcode on the tag so that no one else can get my shirt. Oh, it feels so good to be high in the corperate world.
2. It was amazing, the trolls actually TALKED like normal people to me for 2 days in a row. Both days they talked about how great the weather was and how they were happy winter was over. Well of course they are happy winter is over, I would be happy for warm weather too if I didn't heat my house. Buy no worries, they went back to being old hags on the third day.
3. You know winter is over when...you see a fat chick (220+) in a tube top. GAG
4. No, I dont' know how much sodium is in our fried chicken so don't f*in ask. Stupid customers.
5. Just b/c you are a security guard at my store (which really doesn't make you cool) doesn't mean that you can stand by my department for 45 minutes staring at me. For one, I didn't know you were a security guard, I just thought you were some creepy guy who was trying to stock me...it wouldn't be the first time. I honestly almost called to store director on this guy b/c I was getting that scared, then finally he introduced himself to me. Ok, but still, just because you work for the company gives you no right to undress me then rape me with your eyes...trust me, do it again, I will turn your ass in for sexual harassment.
Hmm, when I was thinking of bloggin I am srue that I had more to say then this, but I guess this is all that my brain could hold at one time. Well if I think of more I will add more later.
1. I am moving up in the world, that is right, I got fitted for shirts at work on Monday. This could only mean that I am so important that I no longer have to wash my own work shirts. I get 6 shirts a week that I don't have to pay for, and then at the end of the week I get new ones and they get wash, dried, pressed, all that good stuff for $9 a month. There will be a barcode on the tag so that no one else can get my shirt. Oh, it feels so good to be high in the corperate world.
2. It was amazing, the trolls actually TALKED like normal people to me for 2 days in a row. Both days they talked about how great the weather was and how they were happy winter was over. Well of course they are happy winter is over, I would be happy for warm weather too if I didn't heat my house. Buy no worries, they went back to being old hags on the third day.
3. You know winter is over when...you see a fat chick (220+) in a tube top. GAG
4. No, I dont' know how much sodium is in our fried chicken so don't f*in ask. Stupid customers.
5. Just b/c you are a security guard at my store (which really doesn't make you cool) doesn't mean that you can stand by my department for 45 minutes staring at me. For one, I didn't know you were a security guard, I just thought you were some creepy guy who was trying to stock me...it wouldn't be the first time. I honestly almost called to store director on this guy b/c I was getting that scared, then finally he introduced himself to me. Ok, but still, just because you work for the company gives you no right to undress me then rape me with your eyes...trust me, do it again, I will turn your ass in for sexual harassment.
Hmm, when I was thinking of bloggin I am srue that I had more to say then this, but I guess this is all that my brain could hold at one time. Well if I think of more I will add more later.
Monday, March 5, 2007
The 3 little Trolls
As you may all know now, my AFL enjoys my "troll" encounters. Even though the conversations may not be very long, I will always blog them for her. If you don't like them...too damn bad, I am doing it for my AFL, so here it is AFL and all you others who enjoy how annoying they are.
N: What do you want?
T: Do those potatoes have butter in them or are they just potatoes?
N: Just plain.
T: So there is no butter?
N: NO.
T (1): Do you want to try some potatoes?
T (2): I don't know.
T (1): Just try some.
T (2): Ok, I will take about $0.50 of potatoes.
N: K (Scooping up potatoes, weighing them out, only $0.38 so I add more)
T (2): Oh No, I don't want that much
N: It isn't even $0.50 yet.
T (2): (Now crying) I don't want that much, I can't eat that much.
N: Well do you want me to take some out?
T (2): *Sniff sniff* Yeah.
N: K (Takes out about half, tag it and give it too her)
T (1): Ok, I will take a big scoop full.
N: (scoops some up) Is that enough?
T (1): Yep.
N: Ok.
T (2): (Looking in the "cold case" between the salads and the sliced meat) Is that meatloaf cold?
N: Um, yeah it is in the cold case!
T (2): Oh, really? Ok. (exits)
N: What do you want?
T: Do those potatoes have butter in them or are they just potatoes?
N: Just plain.
T: So there is no butter?
N: NO.
T (1): Do you want to try some potatoes?
T (2): I don't know.
T (1): Just try some.
T (2): Ok, I will take about $0.50 of potatoes.
N: K (Scooping up potatoes, weighing them out, only $0.38 so I add more)
T (2): Oh No, I don't want that much
N: It isn't even $0.50 yet.
T (2): (Now crying) I don't want that much, I can't eat that much.
N: Well do you want me to take some out?
T (2): *Sniff sniff* Yeah.
N: K (Takes out about half, tag it and give it too her)
T (1): Ok, I will take a big scoop full.
N: (scoops some up) Is that enough?
T (1): Yep.
N: Ok.
T (2): (Looking in the "cold case" between the salads and the sliced meat) Is that meatloaf cold?
N: Um, yeah it is in the cold case!
T (2): Oh, really? Ok. (exits)
Sunday, March 4, 2007
My observation
At work, we have decided that we are going to have a "stupid customer quote of the week". Here is the conversation that led up to this decision and what this weeks quote is.
N: Hi, what can I get you? (As I am putting freshly fried chicken into the hot case)
Customer: Um, what are your chicken prices?
N: (Thinking...bitch, read the damn sign it tells you) Well, I am not sure how many pieces you are wanting to purchase but we have a 12 piece on sale for $9.99.
(And here is the Quote of the Week)
C: (While staring at the fried chicken that I just placed in the hot case) So is it already fried and everything?
(Barb walks around the corner to hid so she can laugh her ass off and leave me there to help this stupid ass lady without bursting out laughing)
N: Um, yeah, it is the same chicken that I just put in the case.
C: OH WOW, what a great deal, I will take that.
I just wish people would think before they open their mouths and stupid falls out.
Now, for my observation of the day. As I pulled up to a stop light on Havelock and Cornhusker hwy, I noticed that the SUV in front of me have a Busch light can balanced perfectly on the bumper underneith the right tail light. Now for some reason my easily distracted brain became obsessed with this and luckily, the SUV was going the same direction as I was. I wondered to myself how long this can would stay there. I began to follow the SUV in the right lane while it was in the left, but since the car in front of me was going to slow and I feared losing the SUV I moved to the other lane and sped up. Here is what I observed.
1. The can stayed on for 30 city blocks (probably more, but SUV turned and I lost it)
2. The can stayed on for 6 large potholes.
3. The can stayed on at an average of pry 45mph.
4. The can stayed on for 5 stops at stop lights, 2 being quite abrupt.
5. The can stayed on for 2 lane changes at 45mph.
6. The can stayed on for a 90 degree turn at 30-35mph.
This was quite a can, I wonder if they drank whatever was left when they got to their destination.
Also, if the SUV would have gotten pulled over, would the driver had been charged with open container? HMMM, who knows.
Song of the day is a drinking song, not b/c I want to drink or b/c I am/have drank today, just b/c of that damn beer can.
Quitting Time9 hours left!
The day's just getting started!
8 hours left!
Til we go out and get retarded!
7 hours left!
The day's hardly begun!
6 hours left!
Until we have some fun!
5 hours left!
Okay, it's time for lunch!
4 hours left!
Until we drink a bunch!
3 hours left!
The afternoon is draggin!
2 hours left!
Til we're off the wagon!
1 hour left!
The time is drawing near!
It's quitting time!
Let's go drink some beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!
N: Hi, what can I get you? (As I am putting freshly fried chicken into the hot case)
Customer: Um, what are your chicken prices?
N: (Thinking...bitch, read the damn sign it tells you) Well, I am not sure how many pieces you are wanting to purchase but we have a 12 piece on sale for $9.99.
(And here is the Quote of the Week)
C: (While staring at the fried chicken that I just placed in the hot case) So is it already fried and everything?
(Barb walks around the corner to hid so she can laugh her ass off and leave me there to help this stupid ass lady without bursting out laughing)
N: Um, yeah, it is the same chicken that I just put in the case.
C: OH WOW, what a great deal, I will take that.
I just wish people would think before they open their mouths and stupid falls out.
Now, for my observation of the day. As I pulled up to a stop light on Havelock and Cornhusker hwy, I noticed that the SUV in front of me have a Busch light can balanced perfectly on the bumper underneith the right tail light. Now for some reason my easily distracted brain became obsessed with this and luckily, the SUV was going the same direction as I was. I wondered to myself how long this can would stay there. I began to follow the SUV in the right lane while it was in the left, but since the car in front of me was going to slow and I feared losing the SUV I moved to the other lane and sped up. Here is what I observed.
1. The can stayed on for 30 city blocks (probably more, but SUV turned and I lost it)
2. The can stayed on for 6 large potholes.
3. The can stayed on at an average of pry 45mph.
4. The can stayed on for 5 stops at stop lights, 2 being quite abrupt.
5. The can stayed on for 2 lane changes at 45mph.
6. The can stayed on for a 90 degree turn at 30-35mph.
This was quite a can, I wonder if they drank whatever was left when they got to their destination.
Also, if the SUV would have gotten pulled over, would the driver had been charged with open container? HMMM, who knows.
Song of the day is a drinking song, not b/c I want to drink or b/c I am/have drank today, just b/c of that damn beer can.
Quitting Time9 hours left!
The day's just getting started!
8 hours left!
Til we go out and get retarded!
7 hours left!
The day's hardly begun!
6 hours left!
Until we have some fun!
5 hours left!
Okay, it's time for lunch!
4 hours left!
Until we drink a bunch!
3 hours left!
The afternoon is draggin!
2 hours left!
Til we're off the wagon!
1 hour left!
The time is drawing near!
It's quitting time!
Let's go drink some beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!
Saturday, March 3, 2007
New invention.
During my break from work, I was talking to my fave cousin online. She just happened to be eating mini wheats and the convo went something like this (these are not the exact words, but you will get the idea).
K: AAHHHH, I have mini wheats down my shirt.
N: EEKKKK, you know after work I always have little pieces of cheese down my shirt b/c our slicer likes to throw them and me and my shirt just happens to...um...gap just right for the cheese to fling in there.
K: LOL, Cheese tits.
N: Ha, yeah sounds like a snack you would get at Dr. John's (or some other porn store).
K: Yeah, it does sound like a snack food, "Try a bite of our CHEESE TITS, new flavor coming soon, parmesian cheese tits."
N: Hell yeah, we could make tons of money off this. It would be great for bachler parties.
K: We'll be RICH.
N: I can see it now (At my 10 year high school reunion) Yep, that is right, I invented Cheese tits with my cousin, I know it was a great idea. Oh, just wait we have a great new triple cheese flavor coming out soon, I actually have some in the car if you would like a taste.
Yep, that is how we roll, we are random but look how it turns out, it is AMAZING.
K: AAHHHH, I have mini wheats down my shirt.
N: EEKKKK, you know after work I always have little pieces of cheese down my shirt b/c our slicer likes to throw them and me and my shirt just happens to...um...gap just right for the cheese to fling in there.
K: LOL, Cheese tits.
N: Ha, yeah sounds like a snack you would get at Dr. John's (or some other porn store).
K: Yeah, it does sound like a snack food, "Try a bite of our CHEESE TITS, new flavor coming soon, parmesian cheese tits."
N: Hell yeah, we could make tons of money off this. It would be great for bachler parties.
K: We'll be RICH.
N: I can see it now (At my 10 year high school reunion) Yep, that is right, I invented Cheese tits with my cousin, I know it was a great idea. Oh, just wait we have a great new triple cheese flavor coming out soon, I actually have some in the car if you would like a taste.
Yep, that is how we roll, we are random but look how it turns out, it is AMAZING.
Workers
So, after a LONG day at work, I began to think of all the interesting people that I have worked with since I started working for this company a year ago. I thought I would give you all an idea of what I put up with daily. Each number will represent a different person.
1. Worked there for 2 years. Changed managers and new manager didn't like #1, she would do anything to get rid of him. He was funny as hell and I loved working with him. He wrote a note that said, "Sprayed for bugs and pooped in the cooler." Obviously a joke and funny as hell, but new manager didn't think so and that was the end of him.
2. This person had been working there for a while when I changed stores. This person knew lots of the customers and I guess she was giving "special" prices for "special" people. This was soon discovered and that was the end of her.
3. Great worker, had a wonderful but dry sense of humor. Always brightened my day. Called one day and said he couldn't work there any more. Not sure why and I sure miss him.
4. Liked to try to call in during snow storms even though the rest of us had to come in. Wasn't paying attention when using slicer and ended up getting 5 stitches and leaving me by my lonesome for a while. Called in to say she would be late one day, but never showed up...poof, gone, who knows where.
5. Assistant manager before myself. I usually told her what she needed to be doing. Never worked more than her assigned hours even if we needed her to. Got mad, didn't show up one morning to open with me, called and called and called. Never answered. Called for "backup"...apparantly she just left her "I quit" note in the mail box so I didn't find it until "backup" got here. Thanx for being mature.
6. Never listened to directions. Asked questions like "how much meat goes on a quarter pound sandwich?" about 50 times in the month that she worked there. Took many breaks. Didn't do things right. If she didn't get 12 hours of sleep she was worthless. One day she was being worthless so I came in, boss told her to go home and get some sleep (only an hour early) and see you tomorrow. She never showed up again (we still have her avon order...ha ha ha ha ha).
7. Hired him and told him schedule would be done in 2 days, he needed to call back and get it. Also told him that he would be starting the day after orientation and told him when he had orientation. Didnt' show up the first day he was supposed to work. Called him and asked if he wanted to come in later that day. Said ok, showed up for about 3 hours then was sent home b/c they were sick of him asking when he could go home. Came in 10 minutes late the next morning, asked when he could go on break about 5 times, took him 3 hours to do a 1 hour job. He went on "break...which is 15minutes" didnt' show back up for an hour and a half. Then he didnt' show up friday or saturday when he was scheduled...therefore he was kicked to the curb. The best part is that tonight he had that audasity (sp?) to come in and ask when he worked next. Told him he wasn't on the schedule. "why not??" Uh, b/c you haven't shown up for the last two days you were supposed to work! "Oh, I thought I had three days off before I worked next." Nope you aren't going to get that many days off in a row after your first day. "Oh, well, you can tell barb that I am working at kawasaki" Whatever, we already replaced you. "Oh you did?" YEP. "When do I get paid?" You will get your $10 pay check 2 weeks from today. Bye
8. Been having problems with this one for a while. Won't clean coffee pots, windows, scales, put trashbags in trash cans. Been warned many a times. Finally, last night he didnt' do it again, so we just threw all the trash in there without a trash bag. He came to work...mad about his paycheck already and the fact that we wouldn't let him call in sick an hour before his shift. Told him that he had to come or find someone to work for him. Wanted me to work for him, but I could only do it if he worked my shift tomorrow, so I would have worked all of today and him all of tomorrow but he said Fuck that. So he came in all pissed and "sick" saw the trash can and walked out. No big loss I guess, already found someone else and will start training her this week maybe we will have people who do their jobs now.
So the song of the day is...Take this job and shove it...b/c after working from 7-3 the going back from 630-930 and having to deal with a fellow co-worker wanting me to make him a special fuckin sandwich b/c he doesn't want the sandwiches we already have made...he doesn't like "cheese". Hey fuck stick, take that damn cheese off, fuck I am not your god damn mother...I will not wait on you hand and foot so take that piece of cheese and shove it up you big annoying ass.
Chorus: TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT/ I AIN’T WORKING’ HERE NO MORE MY WOMAN DONE LEFT AND TOOK ALL OF THE REASONS I WAS WORKING FOR YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO STAND IN MY WAY/ WHEN I WALK OUT THE DOOR TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT/ I AIN’T WORKING’ HERE NO MORE
I BEEN WORKING IN THIS FACTORY/ PRETTY CLOSE TO 15 YEARS I’VE SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS’ WOMEN/ STANDING IN A POOL OF TEARS I’VE SEEN A LOT OF KINFOLKS DYING/ I HAD A LOT OF BILLS TO PAY LORD, I’D GIVE THE SHIRT RIGHT OFFING’ MY BACK/ IF I HAD THE NERVE TO SAY:
Repeat Chorus
THE FOREMAN IS A REGULAR SOB. AND THE NIGHT BOSS, HE’S A FOOL HE GOT HIMSELF A BRAND NEW FLATTOP HAIRCUT LORD, HE REALLY THINKS THAT’S COOL ONE OF THESE DAYS I’M GONNA BLOW MY TOP AND THERE’S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEIR FACES WHEN I GET THE NERVE TO SAY
Repeat Chorus
1. Worked there for 2 years. Changed managers and new manager didn't like #1, she would do anything to get rid of him. He was funny as hell and I loved working with him. He wrote a note that said, "Sprayed for bugs and pooped in the cooler." Obviously a joke and funny as hell, but new manager didn't think so and that was the end of him.
2. This person had been working there for a while when I changed stores. This person knew lots of the customers and I guess she was giving "special" prices for "special" people. This was soon discovered and that was the end of her.
3. Great worker, had a wonderful but dry sense of humor. Always brightened my day. Called one day and said he couldn't work there any more. Not sure why and I sure miss him.
4. Liked to try to call in during snow storms even though the rest of us had to come in. Wasn't paying attention when using slicer and ended up getting 5 stitches and leaving me by my lonesome for a while. Called in to say she would be late one day, but never showed up...poof, gone, who knows where.
5. Assistant manager before myself. I usually told her what she needed to be doing. Never worked more than her assigned hours even if we needed her to. Got mad, didn't show up one morning to open with me, called and called and called. Never answered. Called for "backup"...apparantly she just left her "I quit" note in the mail box so I didn't find it until "backup" got here. Thanx for being mature.
6. Never listened to directions. Asked questions like "how much meat goes on a quarter pound sandwich?" about 50 times in the month that she worked there. Took many breaks. Didn't do things right. If she didn't get 12 hours of sleep she was worthless. One day she was being worthless so I came in, boss told her to go home and get some sleep (only an hour early) and see you tomorrow. She never showed up again (we still have her avon order...ha ha ha ha ha).
7. Hired him and told him schedule would be done in 2 days, he needed to call back and get it. Also told him that he would be starting the day after orientation and told him when he had orientation. Didnt' show up the first day he was supposed to work. Called him and asked if he wanted to come in later that day. Said ok, showed up for about 3 hours then was sent home b/c they were sick of him asking when he could go home. Came in 10 minutes late the next morning, asked when he could go on break about 5 times, took him 3 hours to do a 1 hour job. He went on "break...which is 15minutes" didnt' show back up for an hour and a half. Then he didnt' show up friday or saturday when he was scheduled...therefore he was kicked to the curb. The best part is that tonight he had that audasity (sp?) to come in and ask when he worked next. Told him he wasn't on the schedule. "why not??" Uh, b/c you haven't shown up for the last two days you were supposed to work! "Oh, I thought I had three days off before I worked next." Nope you aren't going to get that many days off in a row after your first day. "Oh, well, you can tell barb that I am working at kawasaki" Whatever, we already replaced you. "Oh you did?" YEP. "When do I get paid?" You will get your $10 pay check 2 weeks from today. Bye
8. Been having problems with this one for a while. Won't clean coffee pots, windows, scales, put trashbags in trash cans. Been warned many a times. Finally, last night he didnt' do it again, so we just threw all the trash in there without a trash bag. He came to work...mad about his paycheck already and the fact that we wouldn't let him call in sick an hour before his shift. Told him that he had to come or find someone to work for him. Wanted me to work for him, but I could only do it if he worked my shift tomorrow, so I would have worked all of today and him all of tomorrow but he said Fuck that. So he came in all pissed and "sick" saw the trash can and walked out. No big loss I guess, already found someone else and will start training her this week maybe we will have people who do their jobs now.
So the song of the day is...Take this job and shove it...b/c after working from 7-3 the going back from 630-930 and having to deal with a fellow co-worker wanting me to make him a special fuckin sandwich b/c he doesn't want the sandwiches we already have made...he doesn't like "cheese". Hey fuck stick, take that damn cheese off, fuck I am not your god damn mother...I will not wait on you hand and foot so take that piece of cheese and shove it up you big annoying ass.
Chorus: TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT/ I AIN’T WORKING’ HERE NO MORE MY WOMAN DONE LEFT AND TOOK ALL OF THE REASONS I WAS WORKING FOR YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO STAND IN MY WAY/ WHEN I WALK OUT THE DOOR TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT/ I AIN’T WORKING’ HERE NO MORE
I BEEN WORKING IN THIS FACTORY/ PRETTY CLOSE TO 15 YEARS I’VE SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS’ WOMEN/ STANDING IN A POOL OF TEARS I’VE SEEN A LOT OF KINFOLKS DYING/ I HAD A LOT OF BILLS TO PAY LORD, I’D GIVE THE SHIRT RIGHT OFFING’ MY BACK/ IF I HAD THE NERVE TO SAY:
Repeat Chorus
THE FOREMAN IS A REGULAR SOB. AND THE NIGHT BOSS, HE’S A FOOL HE GOT HIMSELF A BRAND NEW FLATTOP HAIRCUT LORD, HE REALLY THINKS THAT’S COOL ONE OF THESE DAYS I’M GONNA BLOW MY TOP AND THERE’S GONNA BE HELL TO PAY I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEIR FACES WHEN I GET THE NERVE TO SAY
Repeat Chorus
What's to come
When I get home from my 2nd shift at work...a blog about "amazing" or lack there of...co-workers will be added. And the song of the day!
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Flash back
I finally got the kind of snow storm that I wanted. I wanted the kind of snow storm that closed school. Yeah I know that I am 21 but I need a break too. Since I have started college 2.5 years ago, this is only the 2nd snow day I have had. This is part of the flashback b/c it reminded me of the days in high school when you woke up, only to learn there was no school. So what did you do? Sleep, sleep sleep...yep that is pretty much what I did. Then I got bored so I decided to go out to wal-mart and stop at mr. goodcents for some food...yum yum. I walked outside to see that my car was completely cover in at least 8 inches of snow...no biggie, wipe it off. Yep that is what I did when we got snow storms back home. Then I realized there was a 3 foot high and 5 foot wide snow drift behind my car thanks to our smart snow plow driver. So, I called to see if Maintance could come help me shovle it. Of course they couldn't b/c they were doing other things I guess. FINE, do you have a shovle and I will do it myself? Oh sure they do. So, I go get the shovle, put up my hood on my coat, grab my gloves and begin my hard work. Now I haven't had to scoop snow in over 2.5 years...man did it suck...but by how sore my arms are...it sure was a great workout. I got pissed everytime that a guy drove by and just waved and I slaved over this big "pile". HELLO, didn't your mom ever teach you to help women? It isn't that I can't do it myself, obviously b/c I got out...but it is the thought. If I would have been back in high school and a mom found out that her son didn't lend a hand, she would have smacked him along the side of the head. Anyway, moving on, I got the pleasure of seeing a 6 car pileup...no one was hurt, I am not that evil to get joy out of that, it is jsut that I am human and I have an interest in things like that. Not in a morbid way. Hell, even 2 cops that were behind me drove by the accident so don't be judging me. Ho hum...so as of right now the song of the day is...irreplaceble by beyonce. Basically, this is because I could survive with or without a man, (not that I am planning on leaving my bf) but if he f*cks up, I can live without him and move on...I am a decent looking girl with a good personality, I know that I could find someone else...so keep that in mind.
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, thats my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)
And keep talking that mess, thats fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And its my name thats on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable
So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable
So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)
Baby i won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear for you)
I won't lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)
Replacing you is so easy
To the left
to the left
To the left
to the left
Mmmmm
To the left to the left
Everything you own in the box to left
To the left to the left
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking
You're irreplaceable
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' (baby! hey yea)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You can pack all your bags we're finished
Cause you made your bed now lay in it
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable
To the left
To the left
To the left
To the left
Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, thats my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)
And keep talking that mess, thats fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And its my name thats on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable
So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves
Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable
So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing? nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)
Baby i won't shed a tear for you (I won't shed a tear for you)
I won't lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)
Replacing you is so easy
To the left
to the left
To the left
to the left
Mmmmm
To the left to the left
Everything you own in the box to left
To the left to the left
Don't you ever for a second get to thinking
You're irreplaceable
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin' (baby! hey yea)
You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)
You can pack all your bags we're finished
Cause you made your bed now lay in it
I could have another you by tomorrow
Don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable
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