This is a continuation blog from last night. So, I got ready for work and woke the baby up to feed her so she goes back to sleep for the sitter. Woke B up...only took 3 tries to tell him that we needed to go get his car.
R: Get up, we need to get your car so I can go to work.
B: No, its good I'll stay here.
R: You have to work at 8 so you can't...get up.
B: Ok.
*walk outside, put baby in car seat, B hands me his keys and wallet
R: What are you doing? I those are your keys.
B: I know, this is your car.
R: Yeah and your keys aren't going to work in my car. Get in the car.
B: Ok
R: So, where do I need to go to get to your car.
B: Down south (he lives on the south side of town).
R: No, you drove to the game yesterday so you car is downtown...where at.
B: South.
R: No, downtown...where at???
B: Downtown. 12th and N.
*Drive to 12th and N and drop him off.
R: Call when you find your car.
B: Okay, thank you bye.
*Drive 5 blocks away and phone rings.
R: Hello?
B: This is the wrong garage.
R: So you need me to come pick you up?
B: Yes please.
*Go back and pick him up...sit and wait for him only for him to exit the wrong part of the garage and end up 3 blocks away.
R: So, where the hell did you park?
B: Well, Jeff and I walked to it from the bars b/c he needed deoderant b/c he puked on himself and the bar. I think it is over there.
*Drive thru 3 FUCKING PARKING GARAGES and finally find the fucking car.
*B says sorry about 600 times and I finally just stop talking to him b/c I am so pissed (I still have to drop olivia off at the sitter and get to work so I am gonig to be late.)
*Find his car but he doesn't have any cash to get out of the garage so I give him cash and he tries to give me his ATM card.
*Needless to say I was only 7 minutes late.
*I don't understand how you can't remember where your car is but whatever.
*He parked it there b/c it was the parking garage that we park in when we go to the movies so he thought he would remember (AFL)
*He hates elevators b/c they are slow and he doens't like to wait (Ellie's mommie)(but he was too lazy to take the stairs)
*Why do you want more pics of my tummy? (Dyck)
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Oh what a night. (LONG)
As some of you may know, today was a Husker game and my boyfriend just happened to be lucky enough to get tickets. That could only mean one thing...up at 8 to start drinking, stop when the bars kick everyone out. No big deal, I am not his mommy, he is a big boy and can take care of himself right???? WRONG!! I get a call at 12:50, I'm guessing right after last call. The conversation goes something like this.
R: Hi, how are you feeling?
B(boyfriend)(slurring): Great you?
R: Not as good as you apparently.
B: Where is my car? I can't find my car.
R: Where did you park.
B: Right where I am standing, someone stole my car.
R: Uh.
B: Do you still have my password to order pizza saved on your computer?
R: Don't know let me check.
*Checking...nopers.
R: No, the password isn't saved.
B: Order me a pizza.
R: What do you want.
B: Order me a pizza from online.
R: I don't know your password.
(He tells me but I can't understand b/c of him slurring)
B: Oh, if everything works out okay I am staying the night at your house.
R: Okay, thats fine, better than you driving home.
B: Did you order my pizza? Where is my car? I hate elevators.
R: What kind of pizza do you want?
B: Pepperoni.
R: K.
B: But get half hambuger for you.
R: I'm not hungry.
B: Get a half and half and make it a large.
R: Ok I'll get you a pizza.
B: I'll call you back.
*2 minutes later and pizza ordered.*
B: I can't find my car can you drive down O to pick me up.
R: Well hold on, I got to load Olivia up.
B: Just grab her real quick.
R: Ok, where are you at?
B: Looking for my car.
R: I know...where at?
B: Are you looking for my car too?
R: Ugh, no you just asked me to come pick you up where are you?
B: On, 10th and N no 14th and N.
*5 minutes later after trying to figure out where he is, him telling me he is going to lay in the middle of the street to wait for me, gets talked to by a cop b/c you can't lay in the middle of the street, random guy comes over to help him get out of the middle of the street*
B: I see you.
R: Ok, well I don't see you so I'll park and you can walk over here.
B: No back up and come pick me up.
*He's walking down the middle of the fuckin street.*
*Gets in the car, rolls down window, passes out, wakes up, asks why I haven't turned, slouches over...me hoping that he doesn't puke in the car...yuck.*
*Get home and walk around to take Olivia out of the car seat*
B: You have her in the car?
R: No, I left he in the apartment by herself.
B: Oh, well I pry would have b/c I am a bad parent. (He is really a great parent just a horrible drunk)
*Go inside and get him water and tell him if he needs to puke he better make it to the bathroom*
*Pizza comes*
*Go to get more water and a plate for the pizza, turn around as he sprints to the bathroom and proceeds to puke for at least 20 or 30 minutes. I take him the water and he pukes some more*
*Finally comes out, lays down on couch.*
R: Want me to put your pizza in the fridge?
B: No.
R: Well your not going to eat it right now are you?
B: Yeah I am.
R: Ok, oh and you better be ready to get up by 3 b/c I have to be at work by 4.
B: Ok, no problem.
*He passes out on the couch snoring*
*He didn't even eat any FUCKING pizza that he was throwing such a big fit about.*
*I decide to stay up all night b/c it does me no good to get 1 hr of sleep.*
So here I am...AND OH BOY DOES HE OWE ME!!!
R: Hi, how are you feeling?
B(boyfriend)(slurring): Great you?
R: Not as good as you apparently.
B: Where is my car? I can't find my car.
R: Where did you park.
B: Right where I am standing, someone stole my car.
R: Uh.
B: Do you still have my password to order pizza saved on your computer?
R: Don't know let me check.
*Checking...nopers.
R: No, the password isn't saved.
B: Order me a pizza.
R: What do you want.
B: Order me a pizza from online.
R: I don't know your password.
(He tells me but I can't understand b/c of him slurring)
B: Oh, if everything works out okay I am staying the night at your house.
R: Okay, thats fine, better than you driving home.
B: Did you order my pizza? Where is my car? I hate elevators.
R: What kind of pizza do you want?
B: Pepperoni.
R: K.
B: But get half hambuger for you.
R: I'm not hungry.
B: Get a half and half and make it a large.
R: Ok I'll get you a pizza.
B: I'll call you back.
*2 minutes later and pizza ordered.*
B: I can't find my car can you drive down O to pick me up.
R: Well hold on, I got to load Olivia up.
B: Just grab her real quick.
R: Ok, where are you at?
B: Looking for my car.
R: I know...where at?
B: Are you looking for my car too?
R: Ugh, no you just asked me to come pick you up where are you?
B: On, 10th and N no 14th and N.
*5 minutes later after trying to figure out where he is, him telling me he is going to lay in the middle of the street to wait for me, gets talked to by a cop b/c you can't lay in the middle of the street, random guy comes over to help him get out of the middle of the street*
B: I see you.
R: Ok, well I don't see you so I'll park and you can walk over here.
B: No back up and come pick me up.
*He's walking down the middle of the fuckin street.*
*Gets in the car, rolls down window, passes out, wakes up, asks why I haven't turned, slouches over...me hoping that he doesn't puke in the car...yuck.*
*Get home and walk around to take Olivia out of the car seat*
B: You have her in the car?
R: No, I left he in the apartment by herself.
B: Oh, well I pry would have b/c I am a bad parent. (He is really a great parent just a horrible drunk)
*Go inside and get him water and tell him if he needs to puke he better make it to the bathroom*
*Pizza comes*
*Go to get more water and a plate for the pizza, turn around as he sprints to the bathroom and proceeds to puke for at least 20 or 30 minutes. I take him the water and he pukes some more*
*Finally comes out, lays down on couch.*
R: Want me to put your pizza in the fridge?
B: No.
R: Well your not going to eat it right now are you?
B: Yeah I am.
R: Ok, oh and you better be ready to get up by 3 b/c I have to be at work by 4.
B: Ok, no problem.
*He passes out on the couch snoring*
*He didn't even eat any FUCKING pizza that he was throwing such a big fit about.*
*I decide to stay up all night b/c it does me no good to get 1 hr of sleep.*
So here I am...AND OH BOY DOES HE OWE ME!!!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Here and there
This is a blog of random stuff so just deal with my jumping from one story to the next.
Today my parents put Tiger to sleep. I have had my tiger cat since I was 4ish that would make him 17. He used to take baths with me in the tube, drool on my face when I was sleeping and bring my HUGE frogs, mice, birds, and bugs to my bed as 'presents'. Anyone who says pets aren't family is FULL OF SHIT. So I just wanted to say that he will be missed.
The conversation of the day goes as follows...
R (me): This is where we get the 'Market Pantry rice crispy bars.
J (co-worker): What do we use those for?
R: They go at the bottom of our turkey combo sandwiches.
J: (looking confused) Doesn't that taste funny?
R: You don't put the bar on the sandwich, it gets wrapped with the sandwich to be eated as dessert.
*As I slam my head into the shelves thinking did she really just ask that*
Event of the day...Olivia got her shots today and I am not sure who hurt more her or I. She has slept most of the day but when she wakes up she SCREAMS as if saying MAKE ME A BOTTLE NOW BITCH YOU LET THEM DO THIS TO ME NOW YOU WILL PAY. Poor little girl.
Lesson of the day...Don't dress nice!!!
Let me set the scene. I NEVER get to dress nice, it is either work cloths or comfy cloths b/c I have nowhere to go. For some reason I decided that I would dress kinda nice today. So, I put on my favorite pair of lowrise jeans, my tan and pink heeled sandals and a cute little pink polo with a V-cut neck line. So nothing great but I was happy with how I looked. After Olivia's shots I came home and parked my car in my parking spot behind my apartments. I open my door and notice a black man (Note: I have nothing against black people so don't think I am racist) approaching me. He reachs out his hand to shake my hand
M (man): Hi, my name is (I don't remember...oops)...
R (me): I'm Noelle.
M: I just moved here and I have a question. What is the neighborhood like?
R: Not too bad, I am usually in my apartment or not around at all so I am not real sure.
M: Okay, tell me something else, are you single?
R: No.
M: That's cool that's cool I respect that.
R: Umm, Okay.
*the man is now talking on his cell phone.
M: Sorry, I was just talking to the new neighbor Noelle.
P (person on phone): blah blah blah
M: No she is...
*I step out of the car.
M: ...HOLY SHIT she has a body on her.
*apparently he didn't see the car seat.
P: blah blah blah.
M: No, you don't understand she has a body that won't quit.
*I walk around the car and take Olivia out of her car seat.
M: You got a new baby?
R: Yep, 6 weeks old.
M: You just had a baby?
R: Yes.
M: Damn dude (talking on the phone) she just had a baby. She has a smokin body for just having a baby.
M: You really just had a baby?
R: Yes 6 weeks again.
*Walk inside as fast as possible.
So, my only question what was my 'body not quitting?'
Please let me know if you have any ideas...I am baffled.
Today my parents put Tiger to sleep. I have had my tiger cat since I was 4ish that would make him 17. He used to take baths with me in the tube, drool on my face when I was sleeping and bring my HUGE frogs, mice, birds, and bugs to my bed as 'presents'. Anyone who says pets aren't family is FULL OF SHIT. So I just wanted to say that he will be missed.
The conversation of the day goes as follows...
R (me): This is where we get the 'Market Pantry rice crispy bars.
J (co-worker): What do we use those for?
R: They go at the bottom of our turkey combo sandwiches.
J: (looking confused) Doesn't that taste funny?
R: You don't put the bar on the sandwich, it gets wrapped with the sandwich to be eated as dessert.
*As I slam my head into the shelves thinking did she really just ask that*
Event of the day...Olivia got her shots today and I am not sure who hurt more her or I. She has slept most of the day but when she wakes up she SCREAMS as if saying MAKE ME A BOTTLE NOW BITCH YOU LET THEM DO THIS TO ME NOW YOU WILL PAY. Poor little girl.
Lesson of the day...Don't dress nice!!!
Let me set the scene. I NEVER get to dress nice, it is either work cloths or comfy cloths b/c I have nowhere to go. For some reason I decided that I would dress kinda nice today. So, I put on my favorite pair of lowrise jeans, my tan and pink heeled sandals and a cute little pink polo with a V-cut neck line. So nothing great but I was happy with how I looked. After Olivia's shots I came home and parked my car in my parking spot behind my apartments. I open my door and notice a black man (Note: I have nothing against black people so don't think I am racist) approaching me. He reachs out his hand to shake my hand
M (man): Hi, my name is (I don't remember...oops)...
R (me): I'm Noelle.
M: I just moved here and I have a question. What is the neighborhood like?
R: Not too bad, I am usually in my apartment or not around at all so I am not real sure.
M: Okay, tell me something else, are you single?
R: No.
M: That's cool that's cool I respect that.
R: Umm, Okay.
*the man is now talking on his cell phone.
M: Sorry, I was just talking to the new neighbor Noelle.
P (person on phone): blah blah blah
M: No she is...
*I step out of the car.
M: ...HOLY SHIT she has a body on her.
*apparently he didn't see the car seat.
P: blah blah blah.
M: No, you don't understand she has a body that won't quit.
*I walk around the car and take Olivia out of her car seat.
M: You got a new baby?
R: Yep, 6 weeks old.
M: You just had a baby?
R: Yes.
M: Damn dude (talking on the phone) she just had a baby. She has a smokin body for just having a baby.
M: You really just had a baby?
R: Yes 6 weeks again.
*Walk inside as fast as possible.
So, my only question what was my 'body not quitting?'
Please let me know if you have any ideas...I am baffled.
Monday, September 24, 2007
What's happened???
As I am sure my loyal readers have noticed I have been MIA for a few months now. It has been brought to my attention that people are getting to my site by searching for 'crotch something' and that apparently people are missing me. So, I have come back from the 'other world' and here I am. DID YA MISS ME?????
So, what have I been up to you may be asking yourself. Well, let me tell you. About 10 months ago Mighty D made a little trip to Lincoln to come and visit me, however he was quite intoxicated so pry doesn't remember it. You may remember the infamous 'Ode to Randomness' yes, that was not his fantisy, that is what really happened that night. That will teach me to get wasted again.
One thing led to another and TA DA...
You guessed it, after he left I was so depressed that I ate and ate and ate. I ate b/c I missed him and I missed him b/c I ate and he has a thing against 'fat chicks'. I keep thinking back to that night and regretting it. Apparently the only way that I can win back Mighty D's love is lots of BJ's...well, if I would have just stuck the the damn BJ's that night I wouldn't have ended up KNOCKED UP! Ok, you got me, that picture isn't of me fat b/c I overate, that is me 9 months pregnant and going to the lake. So, basically, I have spent the last few months getting everything ready for my little bundle of joy and PRAYING that she wasn't going to come out looking like Mighty D. There was no way I could look at my baby and see him everyday. That would just remind me of that night and how much I missed it.
I switched jobs and now work at Super Target. Yeah, I am pretty amazing there. I work in Deli, Bakery, Food Avenue, and Front End. I am an all around kind of girl. I have moved to another apartment. I wasn't sure if Mighty D remembered where I lived and I don't want another 'episode' to happen if he gets drunk and decides to road trip to lincoln.
After getting everything needed for the new arrival, I went to the hospital on August 12 at 5am (damn is that early). At 1:04 Olivia Noelle (yes I am full of myself and named her after me...just like crazy cousin I guess). She was 7lbs and 20 inches.
I have since began to work my ass off to get back my girlish figure. Ok, so I haven't done a damn thing and this is a week after she was born.
Yes, I am kinda conceded but I am proud of myself for looking like this after having a baby. So, between feeding, diaper changing, bathing, burping, rocking, talking, swinging, cleaning, work, school, and my new boyfriend (yes mighty D, I have a new boyfriend I had to find someone to get over you but I think it is impossible...I will always remember that night and I have our 'love child' as a result.) I will beging blogging again. And trust me, you will soon all realize what you have been missing.
So, what have I been up to you may be asking yourself. Well, let me tell you. About 10 months ago Mighty D made a little trip to Lincoln to come and visit me, however he was quite intoxicated so pry doesn't remember it. You may remember the infamous 'Ode to Randomness' yes, that was not his fantisy, that is what really happened that night. That will teach me to get wasted again.
One thing led to another and TA DA...
You guessed it, after he left I was so depressed that I ate and ate and ate. I ate b/c I missed him and I missed him b/c I ate and he has a thing against 'fat chicks'. I keep thinking back to that night and regretting it. Apparently the only way that I can win back Mighty D's love is lots of BJ's...well, if I would have just stuck the the damn BJ's that night I wouldn't have ended up KNOCKED UP! Ok, you got me, that picture isn't of me fat b/c I overate, that is me 9 months pregnant and going to the lake. So, basically, I have spent the last few months getting everything ready for my little bundle of joy and PRAYING that she wasn't going to come out looking like Mighty D. There was no way I could look at my baby and see him everyday. That would just remind me of that night and how much I missed it.
I switched jobs and now work at Super Target. Yeah, I am pretty amazing there. I work in Deli, Bakery, Food Avenue, and Front End. I am an all around kind of girl. I have moved to another apartment. I wasn't sure if Mighty D remembered where I lived and I don't want another 'episode' to happen if he gets drunk and decides to road trip to lincoln.
After getting everything needed for the new arrival, I went to the hospital on August 12 at 5am (damn is that early). At 1:04 Olivia Noelle (yes I am full of myself and named her after me...just like crazy cousin I guess). She was 7lbs and 20 inches.
I have since began to work my ass off to get back my girlish figure. Ok, so I haven't done a damn thing and this is a week after she was born.
Yes, I am kinda conceded but I am proud of myself for looking like this after having a baby. So, between feeding, diaper changing, bathing, burping, rocking, talking, swinging, cleaning, work, school, and my new boyfriend (yes mighty D, I have a new boyfriend I had to find someone to get over you but I think it is impossible...I will always remember that night and I have our 'love child' as a result.) I will beging blogging again. And trust me, you will soon all realize what you have been missing.
Friday, September 21, 2007
I'M BAAAACK
Just letting everyone know that I am back. I have to work a horrible schedule this weekend so you won't get the joy of hearing why I was MIA until pry Monday. Stay tuned for the update, you won't want to miss it.
(Yes, I mean you Mighty D)
(Yes, I mean you Mighty D)
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