Here and there

This is a blog of random stuff so just deal with my jumping from one story to the next.
Today my parents put Tiger to sleep. I have had my tiger cat since I was 4ish that would make him 17. He used to take baths with me in the tube, drool on my face when I was sleeping and bring my HUGE frogs, mice, birds, and bugs to my bed as 'presents'. Anyone who says pets aren't family is FULL OF SHIT. So I just wanted to say that he will be missed.
The conversation of the day goes as follows...
R (me): This is where we get the 'Market Pantry rice crispy bars.
J (co-worker): What do we use those for?
R: They go at the bottom of our turkey combo sandwiches.
J: (looking confused) Doesn't that taste funny?
R: You don't put the bar on the sandwich, it gets wrapped with the sandwich to be eated as dessert.
*As I slam my head into the shelves thinking did she really just ask that*
Event of the day...Olivia got her shots today and I am not sure who hurt more her or I. She has slept most of the day but when she wakes up she SCREAMS as if saying MAKE ME A BOTTLE NOW BITCH YOU LET THEM DO THIS TO ME NOW YOU WILL PAY. Poor little girl.
Lesson of the day...Don't dress nice!!!
Let me set the scene. I NEVER get to dress nice, it is either work cloths or comfy cloths b/c I have nowhere to go. For some reason I decided that I would dress kinda nice today. So, I put on my favorite pair of lowrise jeans, my tan and pink heeled sandals and a cute little pink polo with a V-cut neck line. So nothing great but I was happy with how I looked. After Olivia's shots I came home and parked my car in my parking spot behind my apartments. I open my door and notice a black man (Note: I have nothing against black people so don't think I am racist) approaching me. He reachs out his hand to shake my hand
M (man): Hi, my name is (I don't remember...oops)...
R (me): I'm Noelle.
M: I just moved here and I have a question. What is the neighborhood like?
R: Not too bad, I am usually in my apartment or not around at all so I am not real sure.
M: Okay, tell me something else, are you single?
R: No.
M: That's cool that's cool I respect that.
R: Umm, Okay.
*the man is now talking on his cell phone.
M: Sorry, I was just talking to the new neighbor Noelle.
P (person on phone): blah blah blah
M: No she is...
*I step out of the car.
M: ...HOLY SHIT she has a body on her.
*apparently he didn't see the car seat.
P: blah blah blah.
M: No, you don't understand she has a body that won't quit.
*I walk around the car and take Olivia out of her car seat.
M: You got a new baby?
R: Yep, 6 weeks old.
M: You just had a baby?
R: Yes.
M: Damn dude (talking on the phone) she just had a baby. She has a smokin body for just having a baby.
M: You really just had a baby?
R: Yes 6 weeks again.
*Walk inside as fast as possible.
So, my only question what was my 'body not quitting?'
Please let me know if you have any ideas...I am baffled.

What's happened???

As I am sure my loyal readers have noticed I have been MIA for a few months now. It has been brought to my attention that people are getting to my site by searching for 'crotch something' and that apparently people are missing me. So, I have come back from the 'other world' and here I am. DID YA MISS ME?????
So, what have I been up to you may be asking yourself. Well, let me tell you. About 10 months ago Mighty D made a little trip to Lincoln to come and visit me, however he was quite intoxicated so pry doesn't remember it. You may remember the infamous 'Ode to Randomness' yes, that was not his fantisy, that is what really happened that night. That will teach me to get wasted again.
One thing led to another and TA DA...
You guessed it, after he left I was so depressed that I ate and ate and ate. I ate b/c I missed him and I missed him b/c I ate and he has a thing against 'fat chicks'. I keep thinking back to that night and regretting it. Apparently the only way that I can win back Mighty D's love is lots of BJ's...well, if I would have just stuck the the damn BJ's that night I wouldn't have ended up KNOCKED UP! Ok, you got me, that picture isn't of me fat b/c I overate, that is me 9 months pregnant and going to the lake. So, basically, I have spent the last few months getting everything ready for my little bundle of joy and PRAYING that she wasn't going to come out looking like Mighty D. There was no way I could look at my baby and see him everyday. That would just remind me of that night and how much I missed it.
I switched jobs and now work at Super Target. Yeah, I am pretty amazing there. I work in Deli, Bakery, Food Avenue, and Front End. I am an all around kind of girl. I have moved to another apartment. I wasn't sure if Mighty D remembered where I lived and I don't want another 'episode' to happen if he gets drunk and decides to road trip to lincoln.
After getting everything needed for the new arrival, I went to the hospital on August 12 at 5am (damn is that early). At 1:04 Olivia Noelle (yes I am full of myself and named her after me...just like crazy cousin I guess). She was 7lbs and 20 inches.
I have since began to work my ass off to get back my girlish figure. Ok, so I haven't done a damn thing and this is a week after she was born.


Yes, I am kinda conceded but I am proud of myself for looking like this after having a baby. So, between feeding, diaper changing, bathing, burping, rocking, talking, swinging, cleaning, work, school, and my new boyfriend (yes mighty D, I have a new boyfriend I had to find someone to get over you but I think it is impossible...I will always remember that night and I have our 'love child' as a result.) I will beging blogging again. And trust me, you will soon all realize what you have been missing.