Thursday, January 10, 2008
Amazing disappearing woman
Just a little side note. My computer bit the dust a few months ago so I haven't been about to get on in that time. I have since gotten a promotion at work, my daughter is growing and become more fun every day. Hopefully I can get some pics posted in the next month. I might not be on too much the next month though because I am moving in with my boyfriend so I have tons of packing, cleaning, and moving to do. Then shortly after we get moved we are traveling to Colorado with my friend and her hubby to go skiing for a few days. I will try my best to keep everyone up to date and post some pictures as soon as I can. In the mean time, be good, have fun and luvs.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Stupid
So as you may know from reading my previous posts...I really dislike criminals...I MEAN REALLY DISLIKE. Well, here are some criminals that are about as stupid as they come...please enjoy.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. *MMMMM, bet that tasted good...nothing like eating SHIT. Serves him right.*
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested. *I actually heard one like this only the criminal misdialed a number and got a cop instead of the person he was TRYING TO SELL DRUGS TOO. So the cop just agreed and busted him when they met...HE HE HE.*
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind. *Well, he didn't get his money's worth*
Oklahoma City -Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "-if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence. *Open mouth insert foot...you better put something in your mouth b/c once you get to jail you foot will be the BEST THING in your mouth.*
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri. *Nothing like handcuffing yourself and placing yourself in the backseat of the cop car.*
A man in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, learned the hard way that giving a cop a “wet willie” after his arrest on October 4 was a bad idea.
Court records state that the man, identified as 38-year-old Louis Carlos Perales, had another assault-and-battery-on-a-police-officer charge added to his rap sheet after he put his finger in his mouth and then into an officer’s ear.
Perales was already under arrest for threats to kill and public intoxication at the time of the incident.
According to police, officers were called out to a residence on the 200 block of N.W. Mistletoe in reference to a domestic assault. Officers were told that the suspect was not currently at the residence but was on his way there.
Officers saw Perales exit a white SUV and “immediately started crowding” an officer. The report indicates that Perales was “loud, belligerent, and uttering a steady stream of profanity towards his wife.” Police allege that Perales told his wife “You better be gone when I get out because I’m going to kill you,” in Spanish.
Perales’ wife told police that problems started when her husband was drinking at a party in Caney, Kansas. He reportedly began threatening other party guests before going into a rage, pulling her hair and tossing her around. She said that she left Perales at the party. When she found out that another family member was bringing him home, she called the cops.
Perales’ bail was set at $10,000. *Oh, this is one of my favorites...not only is he stupid, but he is about as childish as they come...try giving a big inmate a "wet willy" see how that works for you.*
Chicago: A man was wanted for throwing bricks through jewelry store windows and making off with the loot. He was arrested last night after throwing a brick into a Plexiglas window...the brick bounced back, hit him in the head and knocked him cold until the police got there. *That is almost as good as people trying to walk thru big glass windows.*
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. *Oh for FUCK SAKE. Stupid judge.*
An off-duty police officer in Newark, NJ, had a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter, which he had been using all night while drinking at a local tavern. After many hours and drinks, he apparently mistook his 32 revolver for the lighter. When he went to light his cigarette, he shot and killed John Fazzola, who was seated 5 stools away at the bar... *Throw the book at him for not looking before he leaps.*
Lake City, Florida: Karen Lee Joachimi, 20, was arrested for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in. *Give me your money or I will cut your...on shit, do you have an extention cord?*
Levelland, Texas: E.C. Stewart, Jr. may never get out of jail after the District Attorney recommended last week that his bail be set at "a zillion dollars". The judge agreed. *Yes, I can get out for "a zillion dollars"...wait, um, can I try again?*
Dumb Criminal in Omaha, NE (Sent in by Anna...Thanks Anna!). I was flagged down by a citizen whose vehicle had stalled at an intersection. If he would not have flagged me down, I would not have noticed his vehicle was stalled. He asked me to order a tow truck for him because his cell phone was not working. When asked for his name (Jonathan), he couldn't spell it correctly. And because he did not have any form of identification on him, I became a little suspicious. I asked him if I could look inside his vehicle, he joyfully said yes. When he stood up, he dropped a baggy containing 3 grams of cocaine from his lap. When I searched him, he had an additional 14.5 grams of rock cocaine, 5 grams of marijuana and 2 marijuana pipes in his shorts pocket. I eventually found out his real name was "Craig" and he had a felony and a misdemeanor warrant on file, hence the alias "Jonathan". Of course, I ordered the tow truck for him! *Yeah, Nebraska...we breed 'em smrt too...te he*
Oh the list goes on and on and no worries, I will add to it as I find some more awesomely stupid criminals...just stay tuned.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. *MMMMM, bet that tasted good...nothing like eating SHIT. Serves him right.*
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested. *I actually heard one like this only the criminal misdialed a number and got a cop instead of the person he was TRYING TO SELL DRUGS TOO. So the cop just agreed and busted him when they met...HE HE HE.*
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES, weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind. *Well, he didn't get his money's worth*
Oklahoma City -Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your [expletive] head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "-if I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence. *Open mouth insert foot...you better put something in your mouth b/c once you get to jail you foot will be the BEST THING in your mouth.*
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri. *Nothing like handcuffing yourself and placing yourself in the backseat of the cop car.*
A man in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, learned the hard way that giving a cop a “wet willie” after his arrest on October 4 was a bad idea.
Court records state that the man, identified as 38-year-old Louis Carlos Perales, had another assault-and-battery-on-a-police-officer charge added to his rap sheet after he put his finger in his mouth and then into an officer’s ear.
Perales was already under arrest for threats to kill and public intoxication at the time of the incident.
According to police, officers were called out to a residence on the 200 block of N.W. Mistletoe in reference to a domestic assault. Officers were told that the suspect was not currently at the residence but was on his way there.
Officers saw Perales exit a white SUV and “immediately started crowding” an officer. The report indicates that Perales was “loud, belligerent, and uttering a steady stream of profanity towards his wife.” Police allege that Perales told his wife “You better be gone when I get out because I’m going to kill you,” in Spanish.
Perales’ wife told police that problems started when her husband was drinking at a party in Caney, Kansas. He reportedly began threatening other party guests before going into a rage, pulling her hair and tossing her around. She said that she left Perales at the party. When she found out that another family member was bringing him home, she called the cops.
Perales’ bail was set at $10,000. *Oh, this is one of my favorites...not only is he stupid, but he is about as childish as they come...try giving a big inmate a "wet willy" see how that works for you.*
Chicago: A man was wanted for throwing bricks through jewelry store windows and making off with the loot. He was arrested last night after throwing a brick into a Plexiglas window...the brick bounced back, hit him in the head and knocked him cold until the police got there. *That is almost as good as people trying to walk thru big glass windows.*
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. *Oh for FUCK SAKE. Stupid judge.*
An off-duty police officer in Newark, NJ, had a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter, which he had been using all night while drinking at a local tavern. After many hours and drinks, he apparently mistook his 32 revolver for the lighter. When he went to light his cigarette, he shot and killed John Fazzola, who was seated 5 stools away at the bar... *Throw the book at him for not looking before he leaps.*
Lake City, Florida: Karen Lee Joachimi, 20, was arrested for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in. *Give me your money or I will cut your...on shit, do you have an extention cord?*
Levelland, Texas: E.C. Stewart, Jr. may never get out of jail after the District Attorney recommended last week that his bail be set at "a zillion dollars". The judge agreed. *Yes, I can get out for "a zillion dollars"...wait, um, can I try again?*
Dumb Criminal in Omaha, NE (Sent in by Anna...Thanks Anna!). I was flagged down by a citizen whose vehicle had stalled at an intersection. If he would not have flagged me down, I would not have noticed his vehicle was stalled. He asked me to order a tow truck for him because his cell phone was not working. When asked for his name (Jonathan), he couldn't spell it correctly. And because he did not have any form of identification on him, I became a little suspicious. I asked him if I could look inside his vehicle, he joyfully said yes. When he stood up, he dropped a baggy containing 3 grams of cocaine from his lap. When I searched him, he had an additional 14.5 grams of rock cocaine, 5 grams of marijuana and 2 marijuana pipes in his shorts pocket. I eventually found out his real name was "Craig" and he had a felony and a misdemeanor warrant on file, hence the alias "Jonathan". Of course, I ordered the tow truck for him! *Yeah, Nebraska...we breed 'em smrt too...te he*
Oh the list goes on and on and no worries, I will add to it as I find some more awesomely stupid criminals...just stay tuned.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Black Bean Couscous
I bet you are wondering what the heck this blog can be about with a name like that...well, the blog has nothing to do with the title, I just needed something different. Anywho...
*I went shopping last night for a few things and stopped at Sears to get a new pair of tennis shoes since it is starting to get cold and my tootsies don't like the cold when I wear my flip-flops. I found a pair that I LOVED. There were 2 employees standing less than 5 feet away however they managed to completely ignore me. So, since I have "midget feet" or so some call them...and I wear a size 7, I just tried on the display shoe. Sure enough it fit like cinderella's slipper. Finally, one of the employees came over and asked if I needed anything.
N: Yeah, I want these in size 7.
DA (dumbass): Ok *Goes to back room for a couple minutes, then other employee heads back that way. Comes out with shoe I gave him from display.*
DA: We only have one pair left.
N: Ok, I want them.
DA: *Starts to take shoe out of box*
N: I don't need to try them on, I already did while you were over there talking and not paying attention to your customers.
DA: Oh.
*Go to cash register...my favorite part of the story*
DA: *rings up my shoes* Total is $51.35.
N: *hand him 3-$20's and 2-$1's...$62*
DA: *Dumbfounded stupid ass blank confused look on his face*
N: I gave you $62 right?
DA: Yeah but it is only $51.35
N: Yeah I understand but I gave you that much b/c then I will get a $10 and some change back instead of $1's.
DA: Oh, so that is the way you wanted it then.
* Honestly...don't you learn to count change at age 8...does that mean that he didn't pass like 3rd grade. Ugh, use your f***ing brain stupid*
*This morning on the radio they were having a discussion about high school students smoking during school outside. One lady called in on her 'smoke break' and said that she thought students should be able to smoke outside during school b/c there was nothing wrong with it and they weren't hurting anyone. Now, I don't care what students do on their own time, before school, after school, or during lunch but I am not OK with my tax $'s paying for the teachers and students wasting their time by doing something else...no matter what it is. Anyway, that isn't the point of this part. The lady continued to say that smoking wasn't bad for you...it causes cancer but whatever. She followed that by saying students should be allowed 15 minute breaks during school to smoke b/c it calms them and helps them concentrate JUST LIKE A HEALTHY BREAKFAST. WTF???? Calming them I can understand but HOW THE HELL can you compare smoking to a HEALTHY breakfast. There in nothing healthy about smoking...I give this woman the FUCKING STUPID QUOTE AND LOGIC OF THE YEAR. So, I don't care if you smoke, your life do what you want. Just don't waste my tax dollars and don't compare it to HEALTHY anything.
*I went shopping last night for a few things and stopped at Sears to get a new pair of tennis shoes since it is starting to get cold and my tootsies don't like the cold when I wear my flip-flops. I found a pair that I LOVED. There were 2 employees standing less than 5 feet away however they managed to completely ignore me. So, since I have "midget feet" or so some call them...and I wear a size 7, I just tried on the display shoe. Sure enough it fit like cinderella's slipper. Finally, one of the employees came over and asked if I needed anything.
N: Yeah, I want these in size 7.
DA (dumbass): Ok *Goes to back room for a couple minutes, then other employee heads back that way. Comes out with shoe I gave him from display.*
DA: We only have one pair left.
N: Ok, I want them.
DA: *Starts to take shoe out of box*
N: I don't need to try them on, I already did while you were over there talking and not paying attention to your customers.
DA: Oh.
*Go to cash register...my favorite part of the story*
DA: *rings up my shoes* Total is $51.35.
N: *hand him 3-$20's and 2-$1's...$62*
DA: *Dumbfounded stupid ass blank confused look on his face*
N: I gave you $62 right?
DA: Yeah but it is only $51.35
N: Yeah I understand but I gave you that much b/c then I will get a $10 and some change back instead of $1's.
DA: Oh, so that is the way you wanted it then.
* Honestly...don't you learn to count change at age 8...does that mean that he didn't pass like 3rd grade. Ugh, use your f***ing brain stupid*
*This morning on the radio they were having a discussion about high school students smoking during school outside. One lady called in on her 'smoke break' and said that she thought students should be able to smoke outside during school b/c there was nothing wrong with it and they weren't hurting anyone. Now, I don't care what students do on their own time, before school, after school, or during lunch but I am not OK with my tax $'s paying for the teachers and students wasting their time by doing something else...no matter what it is. Anyway, that isn't the point of this part. The lady continued to say that smoking wasn't bad for you...it causes cancer but whatever. She followed that by saying students should be allowed 15 minute breaks during school to smoke b/c it calms them and helps them concentrate JUST LIKE A HEALTHY BREAKFAST. WTF???? Calming them I can understand but HOW THE HELL can you compare smoking to a HEALTHY breakfast. There in nothing healthy about smoking...I give this woman the FUCKING STUPID QUOTE AND LOGIC OF THE YEAR. So, I don't care if you smoke, your life do what you want. Just don't waste my tax dollars and don't compare it to HEALTHY anything.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Oh what a morning (cont)
This is a continuation blog from last night. So, I got ready for work and woke the baby up to feed her so she goes back to sleep for the sitter. Woke B up...only took 3 tries to tell him that we needed to go get his car.
R: Get up, we need to get your car so I can go to work.
B: No, its good I'll stay here.
R: You have to work at 8 so you can't...get up.
B: Ok.
*walk outside, put baby in car seat, B hands me his keys and wallet
R: What are you doing? I those are your keys.
B: I know, this is your car.
R: Yeah and your keys aren't going to work in my car. Get in the car.
B: Ok
R: So, where do I need to go to get to your car.
B: Down south (he lives on the south side of town).
R: No, you drove to the game yesterday so you car is downtown...where at.
B: South.
R: No, downtown...where at???
B: Downtown. 12th and N.
*Drive to 12th and N and drop him off.
R: Call when you find your car.
B: Okay, thank you bye.
*Drive 5 blocks away and phone rings.
R: Hello?
B: This is the wrong garage.
R: So you need me to come pick you up?
B: Yes please.
*Go back and pick him up...sit and wait for him only for him to exit the wrong part of the garage and end up 3 blocks away.
R: So, where the hell did you park?
B: Well, Jeff and I walked to it from the bars b/c he needed deoderant b/c he puked on himself and the bar. I think it is over there.
*Drive thru 3 FUCKING PARKING GARAGES and finally find the fucking car.
*B says sorry about 600 times and I finally just stop talking to him b/c I am so pissed (I still have to drop olivia off at the sitter and get to work so I am gonig to be late.)
*Find his car but he doesn't have any cash to get out of the garage so I give him cash and he tries to give me his ATM card.
*Needless to say I was only 7 minutes late.
*I don't understand how you can't remember where your car is but whatever.
*He parked it there b/c it was the parking garage that we park in when we go to the movies so he thought he would remember (AFL)
*He hates elevators b/c they are slow and he doens't like to wait (Ellie's mommie)(but he was too lazy to take the stairs)
*Why do you want more pics of my tummy? (Dyck)
R: Get up, we need to get your car so I can go to work.
B: No, its good I'll stay here.
R: You have to work at 8 so you can't...get up.
B: Ok.
*walk outside, put baby in car seat, B hands me his keys and wallet
R: What are you doing? I those are your keys.
B: I know, this is your car.
R: Yeah and your keys aren't going to work in my car. Get in the car.
B: Ok
R: So, where do I need to go to get to your car.
B: Down south (he lives on the south side of town).
R: No, you drove to the game yesterday so you car is downtown...where at.
B: South.
R: No, downtown...where at???
B: Downtown. 12th and N.
*Drive to 12th and N and drop him off.
R: Call when you find your car.
B: Okay, thank you bye.
*Drive 5 blocks away and phone rings.
R: Hello?
B: This is the wrong garage.
R: So you need me to come pick you up?
B: Yes please.
*Go back and pick him up...sit and wait for him only for him to exit the wrong part of the garage and end up 3 blocks away.
R: So, where the hell did you park?
B: Well, Jeff and I walked to it from the bars b/c he needed deoderant b/c he puked on himself and the bar. I think it is over there.
*Drive thru 3 FUCKING PARKING GARAGES and finally find the fucking car.
*B says sorry about 600 times and I finally just stop talking to him b/c I am so pissed (I still have to drop olivia off at the sitter and get to work so I am gonig to be late.)
*Find his car but he doesn't have any cash to get out of the garage so I give him cash and he tries to give me his ATM card.
*Needless to say I was only 7 minutes late.
*I don't understand how you can't remember where your car is but whatever.
*He parked it there b/c it was the parking garage that we park in when we go to the movies so he thought he would remember (AFL)
*He hates elevators b/c they are slow and he doens't like to wait (Ellie's mommie)(but he was too lazy to take the stairs)
*Why do you want more pics of my tummy? (Dyck)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Oh what a night. (LONG)
As some of you may know, today was a Husker game and my boyfriend just happened to be lucky enough to get tickets. That could only mean one thing...up at 8 to start drinking, stop when the bars kick everyone out. No big deal, I am not his mommy, he is a big boy and can take care of himself right???? WRONG!! I get a call at 12:50, I'm guessing right after last call. The conversation goes something like this.
R: Hi, how are you feeling?
B(boyfriend)(slurring): Great you?
R: Not as good as you apparently.
B: Where is my car? I can't find my car.
R: Where did you park.
B: Right where I am standing, someone stole my car.
R: Uh.
B: Do you still have my password to order pizza saved on your computer?
R: Don't know let me check.
*Checking...nopers.
R: No, the password isn't saved.
B: Order me a pizza.
R: What do you want.
B: Order me a pizza from online.
R: I don't know your password.
(He tells me but I can't understand b/c of him slurring)
B: Oh, if everything works out okay I am staying the night at your house.
R: Okay, thats fine, better than you driving home.
B: Did you order my pizza? Where is my car? I hate elevators.
R: What kind of pizza do you want?
B: Pepperoni.
R: K.
B: But get half hambuger for you.
R: I'm not hungry.
B: Get a half and half and make it a large.
R: Ok I'll get you a pizza.
B: I'll call you back.
*2 minutes later and pizza ordered.*
B: I can't find my car can you drive down O to pick me up.
R: Well hold on, I got to load Olivia up.
B: Just grab her real quick.
R: Ok, where are you at?
B: Looking for my car.
R: I know...where at?
B: Are you looking for my car too?
R: Ugh, no you just asked me to come pick you up where are you?
B: On, 10th and N no 14th and N.
*5 minutes later after trying to figure out where he is, him telling me he is going to lay in the middle of the street to wait for me, gets talked to by a cop b/c you can't lay in the middle of the street, random guy comes over to help him get out of the middle of the street*
B: I see you.
R: Ok, well I don't see you so I'll park and you can walk over here.
B: No back up and come pick me up.
*He's walking down the middle of the fuckin street.*
*Gets in the car, rolls down window, passes out, wakes up, asks why I haven't turned, slouches over...me hoping that he doesn't puke in the car...yuck.*
*Get home and walk around to take Olivia out of the car seat*
B: You have her in the car?
R: No, I left he in the apartment by herself.
B: Oh, well I pry would have b/c I am a bad parent. (He is really a great parent just a horrible drunk)
*Go inside and get him water and tell him if he needs to puke he better make it to the bathroom*
*Pizza comes*
*Go to get more water and a plate for the pizza, turn around as he sprints to the bathroom and proceeds to puke for at least 20 or 30 minutes. I take him the water and he pukes some more*
*Finally comes out, lays down on couch.*
R: Want me to put your pizza in the fridge?
B: No.
R: Well your not going to eat it right now are you?
B: Yeah I am.
R: Ok, oh and you better be ready to get up by 3 b/c I have to be at work by 4.
B: Ok, no problem.
*He passes out on the couch snoring*
*He didn't even eat any FUCKING pizza that he was throwing such a big fit about.*
*I decide to stay up all night b/c it does me no good to get 1 hr of sleep.*
So here I am...AND OH BOY DOES HE OWE ME!!!
R: Hi, how are you feeling?
B(boyfriend)(slurring): Great you?
R: Not as good as you apparently.
B: Where is my car? I can't find my car.
R: Where did you park.
B: Right where I am standing, someone stole my car.
R: Uh.
B: Do you still have my password to order pizza saved on your computer?
R: Don't know let me check.
*Checking...nopers.
R: No, the password isn't saved.
B: Order me a pizza.
R: What do you want.
B: Order me a pizza from online.
R: I don't know your password.
(He tells me but I can't understand b/c of him slurring)
B: Oh, if everything works out okay I am staying the night at your house.
R: Okay, thats fine, better than you driving home.
B: Did you order my pizza? Where is my car? I hate elevators.
R: What kind of pizza do you want?
B: Pepperoni.
R: K.
B: But get half hambuger for you.
R: I'm not hungry.
B: Get a half and half and make it a large.
R: Ok I'll get you a pizza.
B: I'll call you back.
*2 minutes later and pizza ordered.*
B: I can't find my car can you drive down O to pick me up.
R: Well hold on, I got to load Olivia up.
B: Just grab her real quick.
R: Ok, where are you at?
B: Looking for my car.
R: I know...where at?
B: Are you looking for my car too?
R: Ugh, no you just asked me to come pick you up where are you?
B: On, 10th and N no 14th and N.
*5 minutes later after trying to figure out where he is, him telling me he is going to lay in the middle of the street to wait for me, gets talked to by a cop b/c you can't lay in the middle of the street, random guy comes over to help him get out of the middle of the street*
B: I see you.
R: Ok, well I don't see you so I'll park and you can walk over here.
B: No back up and come pick me up.
*He's walking down the middle of the fuckin street.*
*Gets in the car, rolls down window, passes out, wakes up, asks why I haven't turned, slouches over...me hoping that he doesn't puke in the car...yuck.*
*Get home and walk around to take Olivia out of the car seat*
B: You have her in the car?
R: No, I left he in the apartment by herself.
B: Oh, well I pry would have b/c I am a bad parent. (He is really a great parent just a horrible drunk)
*Go inside and get him water and tell him if he needs to puke he better make it to the bathroom*
*Pizza comes*
*Go to get more water and a plate for the pizza, turn around as he sprints to the bathroom and proceeds to puke for at least 20 or 30 minutes. I take him the water and he pukes some more*
*Finally comes out, lays down on couch.*
R: Want me to put your pizza in the fridge?
B: No.
R: Well your not going to eat it right now are you?
B: Yeah I am.
R: Ok, oh and you better be ready to get up by 3 b/c I have to be at work by 4.
B: Ok, no problem.
*He passes out on the couch snoring*
*He didn't even eat any FUCKING pizza that he was throwing such a big fit about.*
*I decide to stay up all night b/c it does me no good to get 1 hr of sleep.*
So here I am...AND OH BOY DOES HE OWE ME!!!
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